Maria (37)

April 8, 2022, Zilina. Day 43 of war.

Everyone calls her Masha. I don't know where she gets her energy, but after a while I was no longer able to register where she managed to run, which curious question of a child she answered or whom she helped. I made an exception with her story. Although she is not a native Ukrainian, her life and her future are connected with this country. Not only Ukrainians are fleeing us from the Russian occupation and from Russian bombs. There are many people in Ukraine who love this country and it has become their homeland. And they had to leave it just like those who were born there. 

“I was a child when my parents fled the Nagorno-Karabakh war. We came to Ukraine, to Volnovakha, and we thought we would stay forever. Many years passed and I went to study to Krematorsk, but a war also began there in 2014. I went to Kiev, and war broke out there too.” 

“The explosions were getting stronger in Kiev, I was considering whether to run away from the war again or not for a long time. In the end, I decided to go further west. People advised me that Slovakia is a good country, so I found myself here. I traveled for a long time, I felt uncomfortable because I had to leave my beloved country. Although I'm not Ukrainian, I love Ukraine, it gave me everything: a place to live, an education, everything I needed in life. I have a lot of friends there, I have a family there. My city Volnovahka is already destroyed. Two rockets fell into our yard, but fortunately they did not explode. Both my father and my brother are alive. I feel sorry that the Russians are there. I haven't had any contact with my family in over a month. I knew they were fine, but I still felt uncomfortable. What bothered me the most was the idea that my family had nothing to eat, I couldn't stand the fact that I was having lunch, dinner, and they had nothing to eat. I don't have mom anymore, she died earlier. Even the local cemetery was bombed, so I don't know if her grave is untouched or not.” 

“I really like it here. There are good people here, and Ukrainians are also helping us here. When I left Kiev, I didn't even know what day it was, just that the war was getting closer and closer. It is written that I came to Slovakia on March 17 in my passport. I still don't know which day of the week there is, just by looking at the phone. Day after day, it's kind of weird infinity.” 

“We could see on TV that Russia was planning an attack on Ukraine before February 24. Personally, I didn't believe it. It wasn't until the morning of February 24 that my friends called me and asked me if I could hear explosions. At first I heard nothing, but then I walked to the window and opened it, and there I could hear explosions in the distance. I still didn't believe it. Every day the situation worsened, explosions got closer and closer, and shops were empty. The war came to me at a very short distance. I live in a part of the city that the Russians tried to conquer, but our Ukrainian soldiers were able to repel their attacks. The last two days the fights became strong and I was startled. I hid in the school basement, where I worked, the whole time. One day everything suddenly fell silent. So I went home, but I was scared of every sound. Then I realized that if a rocket hit our house, I might not even get out of there. I turned halfway and went back to school.” 

“I'm helping here as a teacher. I work with our Ukrainian children so that they don't forget to write, read, use the multiplier, so that they don't forget to speak Ukrainian and so that they can start learning Slovak. As a teacher, I have three approbations, but they are useless to me. I want to go home and continue what I have been doing there up until now, I want to take care of the children.” 

“In the first days of the war, the whole housing estate used to go to our school to hide. We have a basement suitable for 150-200 people there, but there were many more people coming in. All the school staff helped, from the cleaners, through the teachers, to the principal. They helped often just by calming down the kids and holding the children in their arms. We distributed food to the children brought in by their parents. A lot of people came to us during the first week, but then they probably got used to the war and started coming home. They never came back to us. We also helped retirees, cooked food, and distributed it around town.” 

“They had interviewed me before and asked me what I would say to the Ukrainians who stayed at home. I want to tell them that I'm with them in my heart and my soul, and that I'm sorry I left them there. My city is completely leveled to the ground. There are no schools, hospitals and mines are to be found throughout the city. Even the few children left there can die during a normal walk outside. I know what the Russians and the Russian world are. I experienced it in 2014. Since then, I can't listen to Russian. I didn't have these feelings before, but all this broke something in me. I can't even listen to Russian music. I have always respected the line between politics and culture, but now I have simply erased everything Russian from my phone. I cannot say that I hate them, but I am simply very uncomfortable with Russian and Russia at the moment. Even my mother's sisters do not believe what is happening in Ukraine. They say those information are fakes, but they didn't see anything with their own eyes, they didn't experience it. We can no longer talk to them because of their attitude.” 

“I don't have children or a husband yet, but I still have my whole life ahead of me.”